Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Brilliant Tutorials Tranforms to Brilliant Doodh Samiti


Brilliant Tutorials has now shut down its IIT Coaching centre due to massive competition. From reliable source we have come to know that Brilliant Tutorials (BT) has been truly inspired by Lovely Professional University’s (LPU) tagline – Transforming Education, Transforming India. Brilliant Tutorials now transforms into “Brilliant Doodh Samiti”, in short BDS. “Brilliant Doodh Samiti” now wants to compete with Amul, Vita and Mother Diary.
Let us see the interview taken by our reporter Jai Anand
 

Jai Anand – A big change in your business, what inspired you exactly?
BDS – See, we’ve had a great success in IIT Coaching, but due to no Young Genius coming at our institute for last few years, we were experiencing great difficulty to utilize our ParleG stock which is going to expire in Dec.2010. We had a round table conference with Lovely Professional University, and so we have now transformed into “Brilliant Doodh Samiti” and our competitors will be Amul, Vita and FIITJEE

Jai Anand What is the tagline of “Brilliant Doodh Samiti”?
BDS - We are still to decide the tagline, we are as usual confused b/w Brilliant Doodh - “Doodh Piyo, Mat Jiyo” or Brilliant Doodh - “Transforming Cows, Transforming Doodh”

Jai Anand – So what’s the plan ahead for “Brilliant Doodh Samiti”?
BDS – We are going to transform everything, though our basic ideas still remain same, We have collaborated with Zyprexa, a bestselling “Viagra” brand in India, they have launched few chemicals to enhance memory. So we are in a process to use them with our milk products.

Jai Anand – So what is the basic purpose of Brilliant Doodh Samiti’s milk products?
BDS – We have made a variety of milk products to enhance student’s memory and make them become “Young Genius”, they have “Pain Oil”, which enhances the so called “Sanak” for IIT. For different exams we have different products. Student can choose their own products. We are surely gonna rock.

Jai Anand - Can u please provide us with detailed information of the products with rates?
BDS – Even if you wouldn’t have asked us, we would have told you. Here goes the list
Young’s Engineering Doodh – Rs.155.34/litre - It provides you with capabilities to cop up with Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics required for all Engineering Entrance Exams
Young’s IIT phaado Doodh - Rs.247.89/litre – It has an unknown ingredient which helps you crack IIT.
Young’s OINE Doodh - Rs.262.38.litre - OINE stands for Only IIT No EEE. It is the bets product we can ever have.
Kaka Genius Doodh – Rs.60.02/litre (For 3rd studying students)
Balak Genius Doodh – Rs.65.43/litre (For 4th studying students)
Bacha Ban Gya Genius Doodh – Rs.71.92/litre (For 5th studying students)
Chatti(6th) ka doodh – Rs.75.31/litre (For 6th studying students)
Lulu ka doodh – Rs.101.11/litre (For 7th and 8th studying students)
Chota Genius Doodh – Rs.110.72/litre (For 9th studying students)
Young Genius Doodh – Rs.151.128/litre (For 10th studying students)
Young Newton Doodh -Rs.212.912/litre(For 11th studying students)
Young Einstein Doodh – Rs.253.312/litre (For 12th studying students)
Ab To Chod IIT Doodh - Rs.1000.99/litres( For 12th passed/failed/droppers) - This is the most precious product as this and only this milk can remove every thought from your mind, brain and body. Guaranteed results*
*conditions apply

Jai Anand – It’s been very boring to hear from you, but that you people always do.
We have heard that you are also giving some discounts on subscriptions (Source – India TV)
BDS - Yea, We are giving huge discounts on subscriptions.
For 1 year subscription (120 litres) – 2 Paise Discount
For 2 year subscription (240 litres) – 7 Paise Discount
For 3 year subscription (360 litres) – 11 Paise Discount
For 4 year subscription (480 litres) – 18 Paise Discount
For 5 year subscription (600 litres) – 23 Paise Discount
For 6 year subscription (720 litres) – 29 Paise Discount
LIFETIME SUBSCIPTION (infinite**) – NO DISCOUNT

PROMO OFFER – With Every Subscription we are giving one Parle-G (45gm) worth Rs.2 absolutely free of cost.

Jai Anand – It’s really been a very great discount. We have heard you have a “Refer to Friend Program” also (Source –India TV)
BDS – Hmm India TV(inko to baad mai dekhenge), Yes Sir, we do have “Rafer tu Fraind Pragram”

Jai Anand – Sorry to interrupt you, but its “Refer to Friend Program” na??
BDS - Yes yess, “Rafer tu Fraind Pragram”

Jai Anand- Sorry to interrupt you again, your pronunciation is wrong
BDS – BUY BUY, We r basy

To Be Continued...

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179 comments:

Sameer Verma said...

awesome man, will be waiting for more posts..

sarita said...

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Sahil Arora said...

Nice Work of fiction!!

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Jai Anand said...

@Sameer, thanks, more posts coming soon
@sarita, thanks, but you know I feel comfortable at night..
@Sahil,thanks, people are so fond of fiction, can't write anything else.
@Kunal, thanks buddy..

Jai Anand said...

@Kumar, thanks
@Bhavya, hmmm, its for averyone you know, so no non-veg, by the way I was to write more on that "Viagra" thing, but thn i left.
@Sahil, correct
@kanika,thanks, some qualities are there in me too..
@Romit, thanks buddy..

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Jai Anand said...

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shovelbudsolady said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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