Sunday, June 20, 2010

CRAZY AAG By Maninder, Aparajita, Nidhi And Ankit


Maninder – A Fan of Kangna Ranaut, A boy(doubt) who always keeps on asking one or the other thing, always screams and expresses himself as he has just fled from a “Mental Hospital”.
Aparajita – A Fan of Ramgopal Verma, A question on every question, she can think much beyond the space.
Nidhi Pasrija – Data Insufficient, Doing lot of books, too many doubts, E.g.  – Sir Irodov ke 78th page ke left wali side ke last stanza ki 4th line from the last and 5th line from the top ka matlab kya hai?
Ankit Malhan – Data impossible, He thinks 24 hours are just not enough to clear IIT-JEE, but he is happy that in 2012 he will have one more day i.e.29th Feb.

Finally, after watching Ramgopal Verma ki AAG, Aparajita and Maninder shook hands with Nidhi to write a book of their own on “ Crazy AAG” and thanks to Ankit Malhan that he tried to answer each question in the worst possible manner.

Let us see some Q&A

Q:1 –  What is IIT?

Maninder – I had this doubt since I was born, “ kyaaa hai btaaa naaa”.” Oye tu btaa”, “Oye tu btaaa”.
Aparajita – Why IIT was named as IIT only, kuch aur bhi to rakh sakte the “ATI” rakh dete ”Already Terrified Institute”.
Nidhi Pasrija – Before I would ans., I would like to ask another question on Mechanics
Ankit Malhan – Very simple, bachpan mai padha tha lollypop khate hue, “Indian Institute Of Terrorism”, IIT mere jeevan ka ek-matra Lakshay tha. Finally after 4 years, I’ll have a degree of Terrorism and then I can join my beloved friend “Obama Bin Laden”

Q:2 – What is JEE?

Maninder – “ I think IIT people were deeply impressed by the song” Jee Karda bai Jee karda,Tenu kor baithawa Jee karda”, “JEE” came in the song for 89.5 times, so they copied JEE
Aparajita  - Sir, unko yhi gaana kyu pasand aaya,” Dhoom again and run away with me on a roller coaster ride, Dhoom Machale, Dhoom Machale, Dhoom Machale”, sir itni “dhoom” machayi thi is gaane ne.
Nidhi – It is Called Joint Entrance Exam, but you know what I Didn’t find any joint in the exam.
Ankit Malhan – Very simple, “Jehadi Entrance Exam”, A Welcome To  The World Of Terrorism.

Q:3 – Why water flows?

Maninder – “Arree ye to padhaa thaa, ruk 2 mint, ruk naaa, 2 mint ruk jaa bass”
Aparajita – Yes, why water flows?? I mean it could run, it could walk, why only flow?
Nidhi Pasrija – “ Kal FIITjee mai puch ke aaungi”
Ankit Malhan – Simple, water got paradoxical nature of being orodoxical, and since it can surge, we can’t urge, so it is advised to water to flow only…blahhh blahhh

Q:4 Why Angle is denoted as “theta”?

Maninder  -  Pehle pichle question ka to an. Dhundne de?
Aparajita – Angle ko denote hi kyu karte hai, angle ko angle ji likh dena chahiye
Nidhi  - Ye to FIITjee mai padhaya hi nhi. But still FIITjee is the best.
Ankit Malhan - The angle  is a parameter in the Weinberg-Salam theory of the substantial angles. It gives a relationship between the masses of the X and Y Zobons, and the first angle was discovered by “ Ankit Theta”, so it is named as “theta”
Followed Question By Nidhi  - If Scientist’s name was “Ankit Theta”, then why angle was denoted as “theta”, and why not Ankit?
If Sahil Gill was to ans.  – “Yaar kcuh ni aata mujhe, kuch ni padhta yaar mai, kal raat ko novel padh rha tha Harry Potter”

Q:5  Which college you must take admission?

Maninder - Sir ek baar aur!! dubara bolna!! suna nhin!! bol rubal tu!! rubal - sir keh rhe hain knse clg me admn lena chaihye??....maninder-- acha acha!! mujhe laga keh rahe hain knsa kachcha kharidna chahiye...thik hai...sir but ye batao ki ye pata kaise chalega ki kaunse college mai lene chahiye, mai to sir kabse aapse yahi puch rha tha.
Aparajita  - Sir colleges me kyu lo?? ghar par bhi to padh sakte hain college banate hi kyu haiN??
Nidhi Pasrija  - Fiitjee waalo ne kaha hai NIT Calicut me ECE karo.....ghai sir ne kaha hai beti to padha le...mere paas bache ghane ho gye...mujhse handle nhi hote...tu bhi padha liyo saath...shailender ne kaha hai ke karegi engg. krke?? hotel khod de park pe...saare redi walo ko out kar...mummy keh rhi hai IAS ki prep kar but mai soch rhi hun ki agar maths me B.Sc. (hons) karun ya......blah..blah..blah
Ankit Malhan - One should choose CSE at IIT - D coz u will learn there Entscheidungsproblem. The Entscheidungsproblem asks for an algorithm that will take as input a description of a formal language and a mathematical statement in the languag & Goldbach's conjecture or the Riemann hypothesis are true, even though no proof or disproof of these statements is known. The Entscheidungsproblem has often been identified in particular with the decision problem for first-order logic..blah blah!!
"I studied only this much in 9th class. I want to know more about this, so CSE at IIT-D is the best."

Some More Questions –
  1. Mai bachpan mai bacha kyu tha(Maninder)
  2. Hum paani se kyu Nahate hai(Aprajita)
  3. Hum aankho se kyu dekhte hai(Nidhi)
  4. Din mai 24 ghante hi kyu hote hai?? 24ghanto mai to bahut kam padha jata hai.(Ankit)
  5. hy does wind blows(Maninder)

Disclosure- It’s a half work of fiction, no personal grudge with anyone. NO SORRY.

Thanks to Sahil Arora for making logo, follow him @

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Brilliant Tutorials Tranforms to Brilliant Doodh Samiti

Brilliant Tutorials has now shut down its IIT Coaching centre due to massive competition. From reliable source we have come to know that Brilliant Tutorials (BT) has been truly inspired by Lovely Professional University’s (LPU) tagline – Transforming Education, Transforming India. Brilliant Tutorials now transforms into “Brilliant Doodh Samiti”, in short BDS. “Brilliant Doodh Samiti” now wants to compete with Amul, Vita and Mother Diary.
Let us see the interview taken by our reporter Jai Anand

Jai Anand – A big change in your business, what inspired you exactly?
BDS – See, we’ve had a great success in IIT Coaching, but due to no Young Genius coming at our institute for last few years, we were experiencing great difficulty to utilize our ParleG stock which is going to expire in Dec.2010. We had a round table conference with Lovely Professional University, and so we have now transformed into “Brilliant Doodh Samiti” and our competitors will be Amul, Vita and FIITJEE

Jai Anand What is the tagline of “Brilliant Doodh Samiti”?
BDS - We are still to decide the tagline, we are as usual confused b/w Brilliant Doodh - “Doodh Piyo, Mat Jiyo” or Brilliant Doodh - “Transforming Cows, Transforming Doodh”

Jai Anand – So what’s the plan ahead for “Brilliant Doodh Samiti”?
BDS – We are going to transform everything, though our basic ideas still remain same, We have collaborated with Zyprexa, a bestselling “Viagra” brand in India, they have launched few chemicals to enhance memory. So we are in a process to use them with our milk products.

Jai Anand – So what is the basic purpose of Brilliant Doodh Samiti’s milk products?
BDS – We have made a variety of milk products to enhance student’s memory and make them become “Young Genius”, they have “Pain Oil”, which enhances the so called “Sanak” for IIT. For different exams we have different products. Student can choose their own products. We are surely gonna rock.

Jai Anand - Can u please provide us with detailed information of the products with rates?
BDS – Even if you wouldn’t have asked us, we would have told you. Here goes the list
Young’s Engineering Doodh – Rs.155.34/litre - It provides you with capabilities to cop up with Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics required for all Engineering Entrance Exams
Young’s IIT phaado Doodh - Rs.247.89/litre – It has an unknown ingredient which helps you crack IIT.
Young’s OINE Doodh - Rs.262.38.litre - OINE stands for Only IIT No EEE. It is the bets product we can ever have.
Kaka Genius Doodh – Rs.60.02/litre (For 3rd studying students)
Balak Genius Doodh – Rs.65.43/litre (For 4th studying students)
Bacha Ban Gya Genius Doodh – Rs.71.92/litre (For 5th studying students)
Chatti(6th) ka doodh – Rs.75.31/litre (For 6th studying students)
Lulu ka doodh – Rs.101.11/litre (For 7th and 8th studying students)
Chota Genius Doodh – Rs.110.72/litre (For 9th studying students)
Young Genius Doodh – Rs.151.128/litre (For 10th studying students)
Young Newton Doodh -Rs.212.912/litre(For 11th studying students)
Young Einstein Doodh – Rs.253.312/litre (For 12th studying students)
Ab To Chod IIT Doodh - Rs.1000.99/litres( For 12th passed/failed/droppers) - This is the most precious product as this and only this milk can remove every thought from your mind, brain and body. Guaranteed results*
*conditions apply

Jai Anand – It’s been very boring to hear from you, but that you people always do.
We have heard that you are also giving some discounts on subscriptions (Source – India TV)
BDS - Yea, We are giving huge discounts on subscriptions.
For 1 year subscription (120 litres) – 2 Paise Discount
For 2 year subscription (240 litres) – 7 Paise Discount
For 3 year subscription (360 litres) – 11 Paise Discount
For 4 year subscription (480 litres) – 18 Paise Discount
For 5 year subscription (600 litres) – 23 Paise Discount
For 6 year subscription (720 litres) – 29 Paise Discount

PROMO OFFER – With Every Subscription we are giving one Parle-G (45gm) worth Rs.2 absolutely free of cost.

Jai Anand – It’s really been a very great discount. We have heard you have a “Refer to Friend Program” also (Source –India TV)
BDS – Hmm India TV(inko to baad mai dekhenge), Yes Sir, we do have “Rafer tu Fraind Pragram”

Jai Anand – Sorry to interrupt you, but its “Refer to Friend Program” na??
BDS - Yes yess, “Rafer tu Fraind Pragram”

Jai Anand- Sorry to interrupt you again, your pronunciation is wrong
BDS – BUY BUY, We r basy

To Be Continued...

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